When I came home, I didn’t expect to be cutting down bodies. And yet, here I was with my official Frost Giant or Jotun partner, his Ragnarok wolf, and my unofficial Light Elf partner using my Hellfire blade to cut down the unfortunate victims. The perps had hanged them from every tree and lamppost along the University’s walkway. And for once, the perps weren’t Supernaturals, but Normals.
I just had a fan ask me for a list of books by MH Bonham (that’s me). I’ll preface it by saying these are fiction titles of mine that you can get online. These are the main ones, although I suspect I have some smaller pieces of work out there that my fans can access online. So, here’s the list. I’ll try to keep this updated as new releases appear.
Since I’ve been running a bit late on Oathbreaker, I thought I’d give you a sample chapter to whet your interest. Let me know what you think! You can preorder it HERE.
Oathbreaker — Chapter One
When I met Odin again, I knew I’d need a bigger can of whup-ass. If I managed to survive the army of fallen angels or Watchers, as they called themselves.
Standing in the cavern where Fenrir, the Wolf of Ragnarok, had laid stricken with venom from the Mayan feathered serpent god, Kukulkan, made me realized how fucked up my life was. Everything had been going more or less according to plan until Sigrún, one of Odin’s Valkyries, had betrayed me. She decided to turn the Wolf of Ragnarok back over to Odin, even though I had told her and Odin that I had a plan. Apparently they didn’t trust me enough to at least listen and try it.
Now, all they did was delay Ragnarok, instead of maybe avoiding it altogether. And Kukulkan bit my werewolf girlfriend and her mother, injecting them with powerful venom. My friends, Elryn, the Light Elf and Tuzren, the demon, had transported them out of there before the Watchers could kill them.
Now, I turned in time to see the Watchers rush toward me with their flaming swords drawn. Usually, a Normal person would’ve freaked out and begged for mercy. After all, it’s not every day you get to see bat-winged, albinos with fiery swords and automatic weapons. But, I’m not a Normal, or a person without magic.
My name is Officer Robert “Bob” Ironspell-Cabas, a Denver cop, although most of my friends call me Ironspell, and that’s the name I go by. I’ve been hesitant to call myself a wizard—or a mage, as the stuck-up magic users call themselves—but I’ve been slinging around spells like a fairy grabbing doughnuts on a three-day sugar buzz. In other words, saying I’m not a wizard no longer cuts it. I’m just not the best wizard out there, and as my Dark Elf relatives like to point out, I’m not that well-trained. But, at least I’m housebroken.
So, when the Watchers came blasting into the cavern looking for Fenrir and instead got me, they were understandably upset. I recognized two of them almost immediate: Azazel and Samyaza. The two fallen angels looked both beautiful and menacing as they half flew, half ran towards me. The Watchers looked much as they had when they were part of the Heavenly Host, except they now had bat wings instead of feathers, and their furrowed brows and menacing glares told me all I needed to know. They were pissed.
Azazel’s title was commander of the Watchers, and his white hair was only outdone by his almost translucent skin. Samyaza’s black hair contrasted with the same pale skin. Both were intensely beautiful, but both held haughty and arrogant expressions which marred their faces. They wore fatigues and battle armor in the style you’d see on any GI. As they rounded the corner on me, I cast a shield, hoping to buy enough time to create a portal and get the hell out of Dodge. Except I wasn’t in Dodge.
I was in Montana, somewhere in the wilderness far away from help. So, I tore open a Gateway to Denver and dove towards it. At that moment, I saw what I would call “Dark Force Lightning”—you know, that black and purple lightning that came from Emperor Palpatine’s hands?—hit my Gateway and it snapped shut. I slammed headfirst into the cavern’s wall.
You know how in old cartoons they’d show stars or little birds flying around someone’s head? Seeing stars isn’t exactly like that, but it’s close. More like my vision went tunneled with flashes of lights. The only reason why I didn’t go unconscious was I had my hands out in front of me. And that fucking hurt. Big time.
What hurt infinitely worse was Samyaza grabbing me by the neck and hauling me to my feet, a la Darth Vader. Apparently it was a Star Wars day. I could only wish for A New Hope.
“Where is Fenrir?” the Watcher demanded.
“There are no plans. We’re on a diplomatic mission to Alderaan,” I squeaked. Yeah, witty, I know.
Another Watcher came around from the interior of the cave. I didn’t seem to recall him disappearing. “There’s no one else here. Whoever was here is gone.”
“Acknowledged.” Azazel stood beside Samyaza and leered at me. “So, where did you put the Wolf? Did you bring him to your home?”
“Errrrh…nerrrh…” I gasped for breath.
“Set him down but hold onto him. We won’t get our answers from a dead man.” Azazel looked at me with a calculating expression.
Samyaza looked askance at his leader, but lowered me down until my feet touched the ground. I breathed in as the pressure around my trachea subsided. “I don’t…have…him…” I panted.
“No? Then, kill him.” Azazel turned around to bark orders at the other Watchers.
“But, I know…where…” I began before Samyaza’s fingers tightened on my throat.
“Wait.” Azazel raised a finger. The pressure stopped. “You know where the Wolf of Ragnarok is?” I nodded. “Tell me, then.”
I stayed silent until Samyaza removed his hand from my throat. I coughed a few times. “Why should I tell you? You’ll kill me after you get the information.”
Azazel nodded. “Very shrewd. But I’ll kill you anyway because I think you’re bluffing.”
“Go ahead. Even if you figure out where he is, you’ll never be able to get to him without my help.” I shook my head.
Samyaza reached for me, but hit the shield I silently constructed after Samyaza moved back. Azazel screamed and charged me, but I threw my own version of Force lightning at him. Mentally, I decided to call it “wizard lightning” since I wasn’t working for the Dark Side.
Azazel lit up like a Fae firestorm. The lightning knocked him backwards unceremoniously on his ass and lit his wings on fire. The stench of burning bat wing was enough to make me gag.
I thought I knew what a pissed off demon looked like. I had Tuzren, who was a daemon, technically, though every wizard and mage I knew called his kind demons. Daemons are creatures from other planes of existence and not in the general Nine Worlds—or Nine Universes. The Watchers, aka the Fallen Angels, aka the Judeo-Christian demons were nothing like angry Tuzren. Tuzren, when pissed off, was scary; the Watchers, however, were positively terrifying.
“Kill him!” Azazel shouted and his skin grew red and burst into flame. All at once, the two dozen or so Watchers that assembled around me attacked.
Guess what, peeps? My new Ironspell Halloween story, The Trouble with Bats, is now available on Amazon and it’s available FREE on Kindle Unlimited. Don’t have Kindle Unlimited? That’s okay, because if you cruise over to Amazon on Halloween or the day after, you can get the book for free! Get it HERE on Amazon!
Okay, I know I wasn’t planning on it, but yesterday I started The Trouble with Bats and it’s already hilarious. This story takes place when Ironspell was back in college and went with a buddy to release mice and bats over in a Vampire neighborhood. Yeah, that’s a recipe for comedy right there. Hopefully I’ll have it written in time for Halloween!
Got the final edits done today on Alchemist Rules! The new release date is September 6th, which is simply awesome! I’m so delighted the book is coming out. So, check it out, and check out the first chapter sneak peek of Alchemist Rules!
Supernaturals tend to go crazy on Mondays, and today was no exception. My partner, Officer Jim Douglas, just pulled our car into a typical Denver strip mall off Broadway and Evans and the fairies were out in force today. The little creatures were buzzing like mad hornets all along the sidewalks, causing what supernatural mayhem packs of six-inch-tall little people can do.
Normally, we wouldn’t bother to be here, but it was 10 p.m., which meant a visit to the local doughnut shop before they closed up. Yeah, laugh all you want, my partner is a stereotypical cop right down to the doughnuts. He had to have his sugar buzz, which meant fat bombs. It also meant I had to put up with his attitude since he was my fifth partner in four weeks. Right now, it was looking like he’d last the fifth week.
Even though it was a pleasant night for early April, the air was thick with smog and I decided to keep the windows up in the patrol car and avoid getting lung cancer. I’d run the air conditioner too, but it wasn’t that warm.
Instead, I picked up my book, Alchemy Magic for Beginners and leafed through the first pages until I found where I had put the book down last. The store front was so lit up, I could read the pages without the map light.
“Hey Cabbage,” Douglas jeered when he slammed the door, and swatted a Peter Pan looking creature away from his pocket protector. “Should I get you some doughnuts with sprinkles on them?”
“Ouch!” the fairy squeaked, flitting away.
I glared at Douglas. “It’s Bob. Bob Ironspell-Cabas.”
“Yeah, whatever, Cabbage.”
“Keep eating those doughnuts and they’ll be changing your name from Officer Jimmy Douglas to Officer Jimmy Dean in no time.” I added pig noises for dramatic effect.
Douglas, in his incredibly professional manner, flipped me off as he entered the doughnut shop. I thought about trying the new hex spell I read about in Alchemy Magic for Beginners, but instead flipped open my magazine of Alchemy Magic Today. Yeah, what can I say? The radio crackled as I perused the new spell of changing water into ice as a party trick.
“DPDS Car 51.”
I picked up the mic. “This is DPDS Car 51. Ironspell here.”
“Ironspell? You still in the vicinity of Washington Park?”
“Affirmative,” I said, trying to sound official.
“We got a supernatural disturbance in Washington Park. Do you copy?”
“Roger that. We’ll investigate.” I sighed and looked over at Douglas who was still at the counter trying to decide what fat bombs to buy. I tossed the magazine in the glove compartment and got out of our police cruiser. I then warded it locked. Specially made for those in the Denver Police Department Supernatural Unit, or DPDS, the car originally had been a Dodge Charger. The wards glowed and screamed to anyone with half a brain to not even think about opening it.
I ducked to avoid two fairies that nearly collided with me. Obviously lit from a sugar high. Both wore green Peter Pan type outfits—the latest rage among the current Supernatural little folk—and both were tugging on what was left of a frosted doughnut.
“Gimme that!” One shouted in a sharp little voice which promised to piece my eardrums.
“Mine! Mine! Mine!” The other shouted with a voice that could put nails on a chalkboard to shame. They tugged at the doughnut jerking back and forth while their wings were beating blindingly fast.
Some cops would’ve arrested them for disorderly conduct, but I couldn’t see being the big bully here. They weren’t driving, and they weren’t hurting anyone, no matter how annoying they might be. Once they sobered up, they’d be hit with the mother of all hangovers. Unless they started punching each other, it was just a typical night in fairyland. I walked into the doughnut shop, blindingly lit up to screw with my night vision. Douglas stood at the counter as the kid was ringing up the doughnuts.
“Can you do something about the bugs?” the kid waved at the fairies outside.
“Why, are they bothering you?” I asked.
“Yeah, they steal from the trash.”
“Maybe we’ll swat them,” Douglas said, pulling out his card to pay.
“We got other problems,” I said. “Dispatch came on.”
“Well, fuck.” Douglas picked up the bag of doughnuts and a coffee. I noted he didn’t bother to get me a coffee.
“Coffee?” I asked.
“What?” Douglas snapped, as we walked out the door.
“You owe me like…twenty cups,” I said, not bothering to hide my irritation as he walked to the driver’s side.
“Put it on my bill.” He shoved the bag of doughnuts into my hands and put the key in the door lock. It gave him a good zap. “Jesus fucking Christ, Cabbage! Do you have to do that? Most people settle on door locks, you know.”
“Oops,” I said, not feeling sorry. “You know it’s standard procedure.” I touched the car and the wards flashed, effectively neutralized. “Go ahead now.”
Douglas unlocked the car and climbed into the driver’s side. He reached for the doughnut bag, but I skittered out of reach. “Hey!” he said.
“Put it on my bill,” I said and whistled. “Hey guys! Want some doughnuts?” I shouted to the fairies.
Like moths to a flame, the little miscreants came out of hiding. Given how busy the intersection of Broadway and Evans was, I couldn’t believe how many appeared out of nowhere. Soon, I was surrounded by a swarm of hungry, buzzing fairies.
“Hey guys!” I shouted over the noise. “Quit harassing the customers around here, and I’ll give you free doughnuts on Mondays, okay?” I tossed the bag in the air. It never hit the ground.
One of the fairies flitted in front of my nose. “Is that a promise?”
“Yeah,” I said. “I’ll bring you some doughnuts.”
“Deal?” I asked.
“Deal!” They all shouted in their diminutive voices. They whirled around in the air, clinging to the doughnut bag like an angry bee swarm and disappeared into the night.
I got into the car. Douglas was on the radio. “10-4, we’ll be right there.” He glared at me. “You owe me for those doughnuts, Cabbage.”
“You owe me for the coffee. Consider that paid up.”
He shot me a look and started the car. Tonight was going to be fun, I could just tell.
One thing that is always fun is learning about my characters as I write. I’ve introduced a few more characters than I had in Alchemist Rules that are likely to become a more permanent addition to the Cast of Characters. So far, the supporting characters in the series I have include:
Elryn, Light Elf Warrior
Li’alla, Dark Elf Warrior
Nana, Dark Elf Matriarch
Fluffy, Vicious Chicken
Sabine, Ironspell’s Mom
Johann Henrik, Ghost
Spaz, Werewolf Hacker
Tobias St. Claire, Vampire
Duncan, Idaho Springs Police Officer
Alaric, Alpha of the Denver Wolf Pack
Frank Winter, DWTF Wizard
Thinking About My Cast of Characters
I have other characters, but those are the ones off the top of my head. Every character, both major and minor, are unique in some fashion. It’s incredibly important, given the large cast of characters. I have to really think how to differentiate between those our hero is constantly dealing with on a day-to-day basis. They all can’t act the same or talk the same, so I have to keep that in mind when dealing with them.
Why So Many?
After looking at the list of those supporting, major, and minor characters I need to keep on hand, I gasp at the number. But then, I realize that like us, Ironspell knows a lot of people due to the nature of his work as a cop. Also, I remind myself that few people are actually hermits. We all meet plenty of people in our day-to-day lives. So, why shouldn’t Ironspell? The fun part is making them realistic and quirky.
With that, I leave you with my current word count for Elfshot: 47,122 words. Getting close to the end. Still have to write the big fight scene.
That Dragon was in No Way My Fault has skyrocketed on Amazon! It’s a bestselling book. I FINALLY got them to get the price marked to FREE as a price match, which means you can buy my book on Amazon for FREE. Which is awesome! It is currently: